Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
