i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
