You're my little dorito
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
