hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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