Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
