Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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