So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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