I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
