Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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