addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
