the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
