and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I want you more than these girls want KFC
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
