I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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