Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
