I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
