Porn is love you can see.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
