playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
