To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
