Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
