Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
