I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
