I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
