Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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