how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
