if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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