I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Damn victory sex feels great
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
