im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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