Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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