No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
