you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
