Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
