R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
