i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
