this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
