I have demons in me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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