i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
