So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
