so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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