apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
