I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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