Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
