Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
