Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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