Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
