im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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