sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
