my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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