You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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