they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
