i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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